Breakups are life-altering experiences as they represent an ending and a beginning equally. Sometimes you feel like you’ve lost your entire purpose, while it can also be your chance to change your life. Especially if you want to dive deep after this breakup and learn how it can be life-changing, you can quickly turn a breakup into a breakthrough.
Forgive yourself first
Before you begin to overthink or analyse the entire course of your relationship, forgive yourself. When we realise that our relationship has ended, we easily fall into the trap of blaming ourselves. But, when it happens, be gentle with yourself and forgive yourself. Apart from forgiving yourself, forgive the other person. Once you accept that you weren’t a match, it will be easier for you to grieve this loss and move on.
Feel the emotions
You’ll feel sad, angry, resentful, sad, and lonely, and all these emotions will intertwine. Your feelings might even be in conflict – because you’ll miss the person who ended things with you. You can still miss them even if you were the one who ended the romance. Even if you still love your ex, love is not enough to thrive as partners. Some relationships take just one chapter of our lives, not many. Let yourself feel all the emotions and accept them. This is the road to a healed heart.
Read and exercise
Healing after a breakup is a process. You’ll sometimes have to distract yourself from rumination, checking up on your ex-partner’s social media feed or even talking about it non-stop to your friends. The best solution is to learn how to distract yourself by engaging in activities that will feed your mind and exercise your body.
Books are the most helpful way to feed your mind; you can easily get lost in the narrative and forget about your ex. Exercise is also a helpful distraction because you’ll thank yourself every time after your workout. Physical exercise will stimulate both your body and mind, and you’ll feel better, no matter how sad you are.
Stay single for a while
Instead of chasing the next best thing, try staying single for a while. Instead of spending the night swiping through apps, call a friend you’ve lost touch with. Try to find companionship without looking for someone to heal you or to use as a rebound. Find someone to travel with or go solo travelling. A change of scenery is always a good reset when you go through a heartbreak. Maybe a trip to Australia can be the breakthrough you’ve been searching for. Even if you feel lonely, you can find company at Sydney brothels and forget your ex without any strings attached.
Become disciplined
Every breakup can be a breakthrough if you’re disciplined. Once you let yourself feel the feels, it’s time to embrace discipline as a way to live your life. Is there something you want to achieve but you didn’t have the time or discipline to pursue? This is your chance to put yourself first and work hard to achieve some goal in your life. Discipline is also a way to distract yourself – you won’t have time to think about your former romantic partner. You will focus your energy on something new and exciting.
Go no-contact
Going no-contact is necessary, even if you feel like you want to stay friends with your ex. We’re so used to being connected, but it only gives us a false sense of connectedness. Try this exercise when you feel like you want to reach out to your ex. Imagine how the entire conversation would go, and write it all down. Would anything change? The answer will be clear when you do the exercise. Mute all social media and hold yourself accountable. Don’t keep tabs on your ex because you’re trying to move on.
Focus on building a relationship with yourself
Some call it building a relationship with yourself; others call it dating yourself. Instead of losing yourself in a new relationship, focus on building a relationship with yourself. Listen to your thoughts, question them, listen to your body and give it what it needs. Do something nice for yourself every day and practice self-compassion.
Remember – loneliness is not a good reason to enter a new relationship. Loneliness is natural, and we run away from it by going head-on into the next relationship. But that won’t help you heal, and the chances of repeating the same old relationship behaviours are high.